triggers

• • • Note: depression is hard core.  I've been saving this in the draft folder, hoping and praying that I could post something design/home related first.  But depression is taking it's toll, and I'm not really functioning at the moment.  I am a place holder in my own life. • • •

It's weird what things trigger the pain.  

The first time I left work once it was over and I don't live in that direction any more. 

Absent mindedly picking up something for the kids while in target and then wondering if you will have a chance to ever give it to them. 

Hiding your tears in the grocery store because you don't remember how to shop for just one person anymore.

The missed moments with his kids are the worst.  Friday afternoon rolls around and I'm not going to pick them up. . . celebrating a passed exam and finished school year.  All the little moments you take for granted, they cut at you when don't have them anymore.

a new start

Thirteen years ago, over Memorial Day weekend, I put an offer in on a little house with lots of potential.  This year, over Memorial Day weekend, I moved back into that house. 

At almost 40, I'm having to start over, and it really, really, really sucks.

I am broken.  I hurt more than I ever thought possible and I am lost.  

I don't know how this blog will evolve, or even if it will, but right now I need a place to where I can let everything out. 

for the wall

Kevin Russ, Cloudy Horse Head | The Nectar Collective, No Bad Days 

Kevin Russ, Foggy Rainer Camper | Sarah Eisenlohr, Print

Urban Dreams Photography, Palm Springs Dino 

2015 in Review

Hey, guess what - I'm still here (though I doubt that I have any readers left). 

2015 is the year that I got fed up with Comcast, cut the internet cord, still tried to run a blog, got the wind knocked out of me by life and gave up. . .

I let myself wallow in self pity and doubt. . .

2015 is also the year I threw myself whole heartedly into silver smithing.  Losing myself in metal and stone saved me this year.  I am going to continue to pursue my love of molten metal and squeeze in as many craft shows as I can. . .

What that means for the blog, I don't yet know.  My love of design and decor has not dissipated.  I still have a gutteral reaction when I see a piece of beautifully designed furniture and the urge to share an awesome find remains. 

I'll figure out 2016 as it comes and I hope to see you on the flip side.

For the Cool Cats

How awesome is this crazy cat scratching post / climbing thingy! It's freakin' Tetris for cats!! Seriously, it's called Katris Block Modular Furniture!  I'm pretty sure I hear Elsie saying "buy this for me, please".